Thursday, February 21, 2013

Silly Little Love Songs- Part 1

This week at WNW we began a new series on relationships called "Silly Little Love Songs".  Each week we will be taking an old cheesy love song and talking about the lyrics.  We will of course laugh at some of the silly lyrics, but then we will take something and apply biblical truth to it.  We began the night with a worship set that included "Starry Night" (Chris August), "Sweetly Broken" (Jeremy Riddle), "How Great is Our God" (Chris Tomlin), and "How He Loves" (McMillan/Crowder).  Then we drove straight into the message.

I began with an intro into the series talking about how we are all impacted by media whether it be music, television, or movies.  Sometimes people get their ideas of what love is like based on what they take in from the media.  C.S. Lewis said "If our minds are all full of novels and plays and sentimental love songs, we shall turn any love or emotion we fell into that kind of love, just as you have a rut in your path all the rain water will run into the rut, and if you wear blue spectacles everything you see will turn blue.  But that will be your fault."  This is a bold statement but is definitely true.  If we fill our minds with these things then we will in turn view our relationships the way we see them in the movies and songs, but it will be our fault.  Instead we must look through the lens of the Bible in order to have a correct view of how relationships are intended to be.

Over the course of this series we are going to be looking at some of the Biblical qualities of a godly marriage.  If you see what the end product should look like (a Biblical marriage), then it should guide your steps to get there.  I told the students that they are all a long way from marriage, and that they more than likely do not even know the person they they will marry.  However it is important now to be thinking about the future and not only thinking about the right here and now.  I want the students to discover in this series who they want to be as a husband or wife someday and begin now working toward becoming that.  Also they will see what they should look for in a spouse when the time is right.

I talked about how in the "Reminders" series I talked about how sometimes we do crazy things for the person we love.  Then when you get older and look back at your teenage years you realize you probably did something completely student for the person you definitely did not marry.  Well the example this week is one of those instances.  The song for the week was "Everything I Do, I Do It For You" by Bryan Adams.  But we didn't just listen to the song, we watch this video of a guy expressing his love for a girl.  There was a lot of good laughs.  There are two lyrics that I pointed out.  First of all "everything I do, I do it for you".  If this is the way someone lives their life then they have made the person an idol in their life and are not making Jesus their Lord.  But our main focus of the night came from the lyric "I'd lie for you".  How silly is that?  Honesty is such an important aspect in any relationship, especially marriage.

We all know that a lie is a false statement used to deceive someone.  If someone would lie for you then they would also lie to you.  When in a relationship you need to ask yourself if the person has a pattern of dishonestly.  Do they lie to their teachers, friends, and parents?  If so then they will lie to you.  If this is a common pattern in their lives then it will more than likely continue.  Think about Abraham and Sarah.  He lied about Sarah not once but twice.  His lie was that he did not tell them that Sarah was his wife.  He instead said that Sarah was his sister.  Well she was his half-sister, but he withheld the information that she was also his wife.  Withholding the truth is also a lie.  Sometimes people disagree with this statement because they think that what someone does not know will not hurt them.  However when we withhold the truth, we do so in order to deceive the other person.  This makes it a lie.  And yes it can hurt the other person we learned in the Scripture for the night.

We read the story of Samson and Delilah in Judges 16:4-21.  Delilah was offered 1100 pieces of silver from each ruler of the Pharisees to find out the secret to Samson's strength.  There were 5 Pharisee rulers which would make the offer a total of 5500 pieces of silver.  This would have been about 140 pounds of silver and what I was later told is that this would have been equivalent to over $50,000 today.  Quite a large sum of money for this bit of information.  So we see three times that Samson tells her something that would take away his strength but it did not.  So Delilah nagged him continuously to the point of death.  She made it appear that they could never truly love each other if they kept secrets.  Yet she was the one withholding the truth.  She never really told Samson why she wanted to know his secret.  Then foolishly Samson gives in and tells her the truth.  The fact that she withheld this information to deceive Samson led to his destruction.  

So we start to get the idea that honesty is incredibly important in a relationship.  If honesty is not there it leads to trust issues.  When we began a relationship we want to get to know everything about that person and we want them to know all about us.  We are completely honest about everything in the beginning until it leads to a point where we feel vulnerable.  At this point we go from being transparent and become more concerned with pain avoidance.  We begin to withhold some information in order to avoid the pain.  We know that if they know the truth then it will hurt.  We have to get beyond this and stop withholding the truth.  It will be painful, but the pain can be redeemed by God.  It is through these growing pains that God shapes us into who He wants us to be.  

I used an example of an iceberg at this point to demonstrate the levels that we hide in our lives.  In an iceberg the part that is visual is never a danger to a ship, but what is beneath the surface is the most dangers.  We imagine that the part above the water symbolizes our image.  This is what everyone sees about us:  grades, sports, hobbies, aspirations, how people perceives us, our reputation.  We work extremely hard in the image area because we want people to see us a specific way.  Then we go a little below the surface and that is where we let our close friends in.  We are a little vulnerable at this point allowing them to know more of the truth of our lives.  Then if you go to the bottom of the surface it is the deep, hidden truth of our lives.  This is the area we do not want anyone to know about.  We work tirelessly on our image so that nobody ever sees the deep hidden truth.  Sometimes we even try to hide it from God.  But it is God's desire for us to live our lives with no secrets.  We can't keep our past from God and we should not keep it from those we are in a relationship with, especially our marriage.  We do not have an image issue, we instead have a heart issue.

In closing I made this statement:  "Telling the truth doesn't require a change of behavior; it requires a change of heart."  We have to deny ourselves of pride.  I challenged the students at this point to ask themselves if they are honest people.  Do they withhold the truth?  Are they in a relationship where the other person is often dishonest?  I challenged them to allow God to change their heart and make amends where necessary.

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