Thursday, May 27, 2010

That's How I Ended Up Here- Part 4

As I mentioned yesterday I declared my major- Computer Programming. I worked landscaping that summer and at the end was offered a permanent job and after so many years become partners in the business. After much thought about quitting school, I decided to go back and turned down the offer. A year into the programming classes I realized it wasn’t me. I started sensing that God was calling me to finance so I changed my major. I thought that someday God would use me as a financial planner. Over the next couple years I still desired to quit school and do something else. I remember even sharing with my dad about how I wished I could play the guitar and could do that. I took classes to earn an Art Minor, which you can do absolutely nothing with. I kind of wanted to do something with computer graphics but never pursued that. I actually have enough art credits that it probably wouldn’t take much to get certified to teach Art. Anyway I finally graduated with my degree in Finance. And with the help of my boss (I did the workstudy program in the Financial Aid Office on campus) I got a job at a student loan company.

I had this job lined up before I even graduated so I was very grateful. I would have to drive about 45 minutes to work each day. I knew it was a starter job and so I intended to be there about 3 months, 6 at the most. Well that 3-6 months ended up turning into over 3 years. I was pretty miserable everyday there. I wasn’t happy about certain aspects of the company, I despised the drive and felt out of connection with my family. I knew this wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing, but was again unsure of what it was. I remember talking to my good friend Vanessa Hardaway (the lady who I claim can pray grass to grow through concrete) and her asking me “Nathan what is God calling you to do?” I replied through tears “I have no idea” and I remember being so frustrated because I felt that God was silent during this time. However I know that it was during this time that God was drawing me to Him and requiring me to lean on Him in preparation for what He was calling me to. I do look back on this time with one regret and that is this and I don’t remember who I heard say it: “We don’t need to focus so much on what is calling us to do overall but instead focus on what his purpose is for us today”. Tomorrow I’ll wrap things up.

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