Tuesday, April 21, 2009

My Morning

I want to take some time to post something that really has no relevance to life at all.  My pastor is hilarious when he talks about how absolutely worthless things such as blogs, Twitter, and Facebook are.  He got me all excited when he mentioned in our Church Council meeting this past Sunday how he was going to start "Twittering" in a couple of weeks.  After I announced my excitement that he had joined the modern world he shot me down with how stupid it is.  My first clue that he wasn't serious should have been that he called it Tweeter instead of Twitter.  He always goes on about how nobody cares that you "walked out the door to go to work" and that "you're drinking your morning coffee", etc.  Well in honor of Pastor Wayne, I wanted to share a little bit about my morning.

We met at the coffee shop this morning for prayer with a student.  After I left the coffee shop to head to work I remember I needed to get gas or I would be walking to work which just didn't seem appealing for some reason.  I stopped at the monopoly aka Wal-Mart to get $10 in gas.  As I reached in to unscrew the gas cap something made me go "Ouch!"  I looked in and there was a wasp on a nest the size of a piece of cereal and he had just stung me.  As I'm trying not to scream like a little sissy I go ahead and continue to run my debit card, shut off the annoying Additech gas cleaner commercial that can be heard for miles and get ready to pump some gas.  But first I think I need to take care of this horrible creature that thinks he can ruin my day and so I use the tip of the gas handle to mash him a little which makes him mad for some reason.  I continue to just enough to torture him and not die (wow, as I type this it reminds me of how the Romans perfected crucifixion). Then after putting gas in my car I let a little drip on the pitiful insect.  As my hand started to swell, I remember how allergic to bee stings my father is and I start to panic a bit.  But never fear I was able to find someone with a  little bit of chewing tobacco to absorb the poison and so now I'm almost 100% again.  I just hope the bee didn't contact all his friends by walkie-talkie, or whatever bees use to communicate these days, before he died.  I guess we'll see if there is a riot of bees waiting for me when I leave work.

Anyway I just wanted to share that with everyone.  Probably everyone will lose a little respect for me posting something so stupid, but then again I don't think anyone other than my wife reads this blog and she'll think nothing of it.

No comments: